Out of hand

This is how I feel like how I reacted. I know it was just something so simple, but I did not need to act like that. I never saw someone in that state of mind, and never would I want to see this happen again. Reframing myself from situations like that is on my to do list. I should of just walked away from this situation and let it be, but no. Knowing my ego and anger that I have, all of this is unleashed up you. My actions could I ever imagine hurt you like that. I reached that point, I crushed that barrier where I should of stopped. I know I should of stopped, but I kept on going. My world is just upside down right now. I feel lonely, sad, confused. I really dont know what to do with myself. Can't think straight, can't sleep. WHAT SHOULD I DO! WHAT DID I DO WRONG! WHAT CAN I DO! nothing. Nothing is what I can do, but accept the consequences of my actions. Accept what I have done, and learn from my mistakes. Mistakes I have made over and over again, countless amount of times I have come to this resort. How many times does it take for me to learn? No clue. Bare with me, I'm struggling more then you ever knew. More then you ever have seen. It's hidden under my eyes, skin, and I won't dare to show it to anyone but you. Smiles, and jokes cover this layer. The layer where all is true, and real. Not that anything is fake but how I feel. Let it rain on me, and poor your anger towards me. You can, I will let you because I know I deserve it. Every ounce, and drop of anger let it out. I can handle it.